AfterWords | The Table of the Beloved

A 3-Minute Read
by Jane Borozan

If you are among the 70–80% of humans carrying anxiety during this cultural moment, as I am, welcome to the table. Indeed, the main course served at this banquet is anxiety with tasty sides of fear and worry. What a gift to receive Eric Seidel’s very good word—a healing balm to our souls, no matter where your anxiety may be rooted.

Eric’s reference to anxiety as a threat to our identity rang true to my experience. Who, as a normal human being, has not experienced anxiety when life’s waves hit hard? Job loss, family difficulties, relationship loss, and wayward children, among other ruptures, threaten our identities as capable workers, as loving, intentional parents, as people worthy of flourishing relationships. And in the face of simply living in American culture at this time where we swim in the waters of chronic anxiety, fear can seep into our hearts even as we seek to be the people of God who live in and bring in His Kingdom to a hurting world.

The false identities I have sought to base my life on over the years have ultimately crumbled and brought pain. In the threat to our identities and idols of the heart, we have an opportunity: we can continue chasing other false gods and identities, or we can invite our friend, Jesus, into the refining.

Caravaggio, The Incredulity of Saint Thomas, 1602

I was drawn to the stunning painting by Caravaggio, The Incredulity of Thomas. The painting depicts Jesus’ profoundly intimate invitation to Thomas to see for himself—Thomas, the disciple who did not believe Jesus was dead and resurrected until he saw the actual nails in his hands. Jesus guides Thomas’ hand straight into his crucifixion wound. Through Thomas, I am invited to see Jesus as deeply invitational to all people who question, doubt, and carry broken identities and dreams. It’s like He was saying to me, ‘Come and know me, touch me, my heart is for you and with you. I want to relieve your doubt and shattered dreams; I want to take your hand and give you myself, broken for you. Here in my wounds, your life can be completely transformed.’

Eric spoke of the only identity that can anchor us to what is true and beautiful: Beloved. Is this not Good News?! The Good News of the Gospel of Jesus Christ begins with our Belovedness. Suffering comes to all of us and proffers its spiritually formative lessons as we experience life on this broken planet. The painful work of self-examination is hard and good; with the Holy Spirit, this holy work can take us to healing places and to where our true identity lies. From death to life, ashes to beauty.

When life reminds me of all that is yet unhealed in my heart, when turbulent waves crash in, when hopes and dreams I wait and wait on tiptoe for the glory of God to be revealed seem to be suspended, when things seemingly get worse despite my prayers, I find it helpful to come back to what I know in my bones and beyond the shadow of a doubt to be true. It goes something like this:

You are a beautiful child of God, Jane.

I completely delight in you, Jane.

NOTHING will EVER, EVER separate me from you. NOTHING.

You are mine forever. I will never let you go, Jane.

I made you out of love and for love.

You are irreplaceably precious to me, Jane.

The astonishing good news is that my Golden, Embracing, Creative, Forever Trinitarian Love is at the center of your life, Jane.

Perhaps this painting may be a place where you and Jesus could sit together awhile and see what He may want to say to you about who you are or what invitations He has for you. Or perhaps another painting, song, or poem may allow the Holy One to speak into your heart.

The only identity that firmly stands is Beloved. The table of the Beloved is where I want to be! This table overflows with an abundance of platters of love, belonging, grace, acceptance, and beauty. We have an opportunity to share the Kingdom of God here on earth—in our families, with our friends, at the Publix checkout line, with difficult people—all are welcome to the table of the Beloved and invited into the astonishing good news: at the heart of this universe there is a great love—an intimate, relational, TRINITARIAN LOVE.